I really wish that I didn’t dislike yoga. I’d love to be writing a post right now about how dedicated I am to my yoga practice.
My only hang up is about 90% of the time I take a yoga class, I feel like I’m totally suffering.
And I just don’t get it. I really feel like yoga and I are “great on paper”.
We should be soulmates, I just feel like we can’t make it work.
First, I love physical activity.
Second, I meditate regularly.
And third, I love stretching and focused strength training. Give me a good Barre class any day of the week and I’m a happy girl.
Seems like my fitness personality lines up perfectly with yoga. And I’ve most definitely tried to make it work.
Over the past five years, I’ve tried quite a few yoga studios in my area. I live in Sacramento, California and we have no shortage of beautiful studios. And I’ve tried the range- from hot yoga to a beginners’ training series- and I’ve struggled every step of the way.
The funny thing is I know it’s my fault this relationship isn’t working out.
Yoga is not to blame.
As they remind you time and time again in yoga class, your resistance to the position creates your suffering. And here’s the thing. I completely agree! I see this not only “on the mat” but also in everyday life.
My heart completely gets it, but my head just keeps getting in the way. So where does this leave me?
Maybe my high expectations are hurting my chances to just see where this thing could go. Instead of just taking a class, I come in with high hopes that this will be the studio/teacher/time that my experience will change.
Bottom line- too much thinking in the future and not enough embracing the present.
For example, this past weekend my husband I were walking downtown and we passed by a yoga studio. The door was open and a small group of students were sitting in a circle. The teacher was explaining a specific position and all the students were taking careful notes.
The sandwich board on the sidewalk read: Teacher Training in Progress.
And I had instant fitness jealously.
Maybe instead of idealizing their relationship with yoga, I start with building one of my own? Thanks to ClassPass I can easily start routing in a few classes a month.
I’m sure I’ll still have issues with holding a pose, curse the studio for not have a clock in the room so I check the time, and let my mind drift to wondering about important things- like should I go to fro yo after class… but that’s okay.
Beating myself up while trying to hold the Pigeon pose is too much for anyone. Especially this resistant yogi!
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Update
I did completely change my relationship with yoga. If you are interested in reading my post about how here is the link.
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