Sobriety | Celebrating Seven Years

Today I’m celebrating seven years of sobriety.

I’m grateful for my sobriety every day. August 5th of 2011 changed my life.

It was also the scariest, hardest day, I’ve ever experienced. I walked into the ER with my husband by my side and asked for help.

The interesting thing about that day was it was no different than any other day I had experienced since my life started to go from being a heavy drinker to full-blown alcoholic. The pattern I had embodied for the proceeding 6+ years was a constant loop of drinking consistently throughout the day.

The day before, I had promised my husband I would try and get help… again. This wasn’t my first rodeo of trying to quit. Over the years, a few different times I’d put together a few weeks. Then figured I could drink a little bit. Then quickly slipped back to alcoholic drinking levels.

 

And my feelings that day were the same as they had been for years.

 

I was so tired of living a life consumed by alcohol and depression. It wasn’t fun anymore. But it was my everything, and I had no clue how to live without it.

What was different from that day forward is I simply didn’t drink. Not once. Every person in recovery gets to move through this life however they want, but there is one common rule we all have to abide by – stay sober no matter what.

And from a pragmatic standpoint, I went through the steps many other chemically dependent people go through. I medically detoxed for ten days, then entered a 21-day dependency program, and completed a year-long aftercare program.

Outside of that program, I went to meetings and got a sponsor.

 

I learned to meditate, and I reconnected with something bigger than myself.

 

Socially, I was completely lost on how to interact with others sober. I was nervous to be around people and really didn’t know how to make friends. I was so clueless I turned to the only thing I could think of – Real Housewives.

And while they were not a great example of how to negotiate life, they did offer some basic advice that helped someone as lost as me. Key takeaways: Don’t miss someone’s party if you say you are going to show up and don’t talk shit behind peoples’ backs. And while I no longer take friendship advice from the show, I have to admit; those two concepts are still pretty good rules to live by.

With time, I slowly ventured outside my comfort zone and started reconnecting with old friends and making new ones as well.

I got a new job within a few weeks of being sober, and it helped me build back not only my career but also my confidence.

My body started to heal, and I started to integrate exercise into my daily routine. It helped with the stress and excess energy I had stored up. Getting my blood pumping helped put my mind at ease.

My husband’s unconditional love and patience helped me on a daily basis. And I started doing things I had never done before. Like going to movies with him and not passing out 20-minutes into the film. It was pretty remarkable!

And of course, with time, my experiences scaled up.

 

Life does get better after you start living.

 

Over the past seven years, I’ve been sober for so many amazing things, and I simply would have missed if I was drinking. Watching both my stepkids graduate from high school and moving them into college. Amazing trips with my husband. Special time with my parents, stepkids, sister and her boyfriend, inlaws, and extended family. The constant happiness I get from my dogs.

And even personal achievements like running marathons, completing an Ironman 70.3, working towards my masters at USC, and starting this blog. I know not one of those things would have happened if I was still drinking. And I know the joy I experience today will be gone if I drink again.

I’m not trying to leave out all the hard stuff and say my life is perfect. It isn’t. I get stressed. I feel like I am missing opportunities. I worry about temporary things. When these feelings come up, I try to remember that the degree to which I feel anxious, irritated, and stressed is my decision. Nothing happened that dictated these feeling to me. I simply temporarily forgot my role here on this earth.

And that role is just to be.

 

Be present and be kind – to others and to myself.

 

And in this sense, I don’t think recovering alcoholics and addicts have the corner on making hell on earth. I think there are a lot of people out there in just as much pain as I was before I got sober.

For me, drinking was the outcome, but the issue was something far more universal. It was a feeling of being disconnected from the peace inside me.

It can show up for someone else as a feeling of always needing to be the center of attention. And for someone else as being socially anxious. We are all capable of creating an incredibly painful life. Mine was just aided by a daily 1.5 liter of Captain Morgan’s.

Because I’m a recovering alcoholic, I get to celebrate a sobriety birthday. But that was just the start of my journey. Then the real work began. And to my surprise, real beauty began to unfold.

Those who don’t have addiction issues can also pick a day they don’t want to suffer anymore. It might not look like mine. God willing, it doesn’t start with you in an emergency room! But you can decide that the anxiety, pain, disconnection, and self-hate aren’t serving you anymore.

You can start over. No one was put on this earth to be in pain. The beauty of our time here is remembering that joy is our birthright, connection with others is the way to it, and self-love is the best way to achieve it.