I think the #1 rule in gift giving is to get the person something they want, not something you want them to have. It seems like I’m stating the obvious, but I think a lot of people are guilty of this despite their best intentions.
When buying a gift, people can easily (and subconsciously) get someone what they would want. Or (and maybe this one isn’t all that subconscious) they get something they think the other person needs.
For example, say your partner has a room that is their space. Maybe they like to keep it a little messier than you think they should, but they really like it that way.
Getting them shelves so they can organize their stuff doesn’t seem like the kindest gift. Although it may be something they could use, you’re also imposing your own will on them.
If you want to discuss helping them organize the room, by all means talk to them about it. But don’t use a holiday as a passive-aggressive way to make your point.
Unfortunately, I have a funny feeling that a holiday this happens a lot on is Father’s Day
And of course, I’m not talking about the priceless arts and crafts gifts kids make for their Dads. I’m talking about getting them the tool they need to fix something on the honey-do list, or the cologne they don’t like but the gift giver loves. It’s no surprise that Dads can feel they get the short end of the stick during this day dedicated to all they do.
So this year, I propose we all listen a little more when our spouses and/or dads drop hints about what they’d like. Or even better, ask them what’s on their wish list.
I know many guys might not have a list of gift ideas, but why not ask? You might be surprised.
And even if they don’t, just asking shows you care and are making an effort. Maybe they will start to make a little list throughout the year, and soon shopping for holidays will be a lot easier for you!
Another way to show you care is to really go the extra mile for your spouse or father on Father’s Day. A lot of time we assume that Dad wants a day with the family, which ends in him barbecuing some burgers for everyone. But did you ask if that is what your spouse or dad really wants?
Last year, instead of assuming we’d spend Father’s Day the way we always had, including the BBQ dinner cooked by my husband, I asked him what his ideal weekend looked like.
Turns out, what he actually wanted was… Nothing
And by that I mean, he didn’t want to go anywhere or do anything.
So instead of planning a weekend with all kinds of activities I thought he wanted, I brought the weekend to him. He watched a marathon of Star Wars movies with the kids. I brought in some of his favorite foods, including pizza and a hot dog from Costco.
It’s not how I’d want to spend a day dedicated to me, but that is the point. He was thrilled and that makes me feel amazing.
So before you rush over to Target or Home Depot in preparation for this Sunday, maybe go to the source and listen to what they would really want. Even if they aren’t telling you directly, they are likely dropping hints. Figure it out and you’ll have a really happy dad or spouse this year!
