Every single month on the 5th I celebrate my sobriety birthday. Generally speaking, I do something small. I’ll go out to frozen yogurt, get a pedicure, or buy something, most likely a shirt I’ve had my eye on.
I rarely spend more than $20, but I love pausing to celebrate making it to another milestone.
I’m guessing I’m in the minority in the recovery community. When I talk to people about celebrating a birthday, most recount what they did for their sixth month celebration, or what they’ve planned for their 10th year.
Few chat about how much fun they had on their 16th month of sobriety birthday.
It’s actually a little funny that I like celebrating every 30 days. In most cases, I’m not a fan of being called out and celebrated. I’m pretty shy. In fact, on my birthday I’m more likely to turn red when the office sings happy birthday than I am to revel in the moment.
But I truly do believe that every day I don’t drink is a miracle.
Since that is the case for me, I don’t see the point of not taking a little extra time to give thanks and honor my monthly birthday.
Today marks 4 years and 11 months since I stopped drinking.
It’s crazy how much my life has changed in that short (but also very long) period of time. I’m a completely different person. From the moment I wake to the moment I go to sleep is 100% different than it was more than five years ago.
All of my relationships are different, and I believe sincerely that all of them (across the board) are better now. A few have faded a bit. I don’t think I’ll ever be as close to a girlfriend that I seemed to bond the best with over a few bottles of wine. But that is okay. Those relationships were bound to change anyway.
And the real point is that I celebrate my monthly sobriety birthdays because my relationship with myself is completely different. A few short years ago, I truly hated myself. I couldn’t stand the person I had become.
I feel total compassion for that person now, but I can no longer relate to her at all.
I’m happy with who I am, and at the same time I’m always excited to grow and improve.
Fear and desperation are no longer emotions that drive me. Joy and happiness fill the vast majority of my days.
So today, I’m going to take a little extra time to celebrate how far I’ve come. I’m trying to stay in the moment and savor 4 years and 11 months instead of jumping ahead to the excitement of August 5th, when (God willing) I’ll have 5 years.
So today, I might head to Target and treat myself to some resistance bands I need for one of my workouts, or just go home and watch Real Housewives and not feel bad about skipping out on the laundry tonight.
Everyday is a gift, but I have to say when I see the 5th on the calendar it shines a little brighter to me. And I wouldn’t want it any other way.
