As everyone knows, today is Election Day.
And today’s post is about something that I haven’t felt very much this whole election- Love.
Because in addition to today being Election Day, it’s also my parent’s 47th wedding anniversary.
Forty-seven years is a major accomplishment. They have been married for as long as my husband has been alive. Pretty amazing!
My parents’ marriage has given me a pretty great example of how marriage can stand the test of time.
So here are some tips from T&A (yep- My parents are Tom and Ann, and yes, that is their nickname thanks to my sister and me).
Always say goodbye when you leave, even if you are angry
This is a hard and fast rule in my parents’ house and my husband and I use it, too. You never know what will happen, and you certainly don’t want cruel words on your conscious.
Give and take is key
One person shouldn’t always make the decisions, and my parents strike this balance pretty well. They show that times are always best when both people contribute to a plan. Because of this, I’ve never been envious of my girlfriends that “wear the pants” in the relationship, but I also don’t want my husband to make every choice. Like everything in life, balance is important!
Sometimes, a little space helps
When you’re overheated about something, take a step back. Going rounds and rounds rarely leads to a solution. Cooler heads should generally prevail.
Travel Together
Particularly in retirement, my parents have loved traveling together. It’s so great to see them explore all the places they always wanted to go. When my husband and I wonder if we should take a trip or skip it, we find ourselves taking the opportunity to travel thanks to their example.
You deal with your family, I’ll deal with mine
My mom and dad made a deal when they first got married that they wouldn’t get involved in any issue that arose with the other person’s side of the family. My husband and I handle our families the same. Fortunately, conflicts are few and far between, but if anything comes up, we let each work things out with their family and don’t interject our two cents.
Support Each Other’s Careers
Growing up, my dad worked and my mom stayed home. When I got into high school, my dad retired early and he stayed home while my mom went to work. No matter who was working, the other person was always supportive. They understood when work things came up, and adjusted accordingly. Sure, it’s more difficult when both people are working, but supporting your spouse in their career helps everyone feel more fulfilled.
Thick and Thin
My parents never raised me to believe that marriage was perfect. They didn’t tell me how someday I would meet someone that would make each day better.
Ironically, because they never pushed any of this on me, I actually did.
I was raised that marriage is a partnership and that you work at it. No one “fixes” your problems except you.
But isn’t that some of the best marriage advice?
If you look to your partner to fix you, you’ll be in for a long and disappointing road.
So, cheers to my parents on their wedding anniversary. I’m blessed to have grown up with such a great example of authentic love.
